Artwork by nippy13
Source: Nippy13 Deviant Art page
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Nostalgia Trip
I had a pending post about nostalgia. I wrote it last night as I finished watching Top Gun, but left it for a while. I just had to write something so I could have some head start. However, incidentally today, I had encountered a Facebook post that seemed to have spoken to me. Kung noon, in trying times, you suddenly receive a text quote that seemed to be aware of what you were going through, ngayon naman ay Facebook or Twitter posts. The quote says:
Nostalgia is denial... denial of the painful present. The name for this denial is golden age thinking, the erroneous notion that a different time period is better than the one one's living in. It's a flaw in the romantic imagination of those people who find it difficult to cope.
Immediately, it felt like it was written for me. Inisip ko pa nga kung original ba ang statements na 'yun made by the poser. But it wasn't. It was a quote from a Woody Allen film called Midnight in Paris which I haven't seen (and will soon see).
I've told Gino, a friend, about it. Aware of my latest heart disaster, he suggested that I may have wanted to back to my last semester's experience. But I don't. In fact, my last semester experience is one of the reasons that had prompted me to go into this nostalgia trip that kept me away from the present time/reality.
Gino adds another quote from Mad Men which sums up what nostalgia is about:
Teddy told me that in Greek, "nostalgia" literally means "the pain from an old wound." It's a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn't a spaceship, it's a time machine. It goes backwards, and forwards... it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It's not called the wheel, it's called the carousel. It let us travel the way a child travels - around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know are loved.
What makes nostalgia more powerful than memory is its emotive affinity.
Gino further says, "Tagos sa 'yo 'yan, Jek. Iyong-iyo talaga. Tinaub ka ng quote."
Tarantado 'tong si Gino, ah! Ang sarap kurutin sa bayag!
Once, during k'wentuhan mode with MA classmates, nasabi ko na "regressing" towards the past gives us security. Most often than not, ang natatandaan natin sa nakaraan ay 'yung mga masasayang alaala. Once healed, we tend to forget the hardships that we went through. Besides, even with such hardships, we knew that we had surpassed them so we still feel safe with them. With bruises and all, we survived it!
When I get confronted with things I couldn't handle immediately, I tend to cave in to a safer world. I'd sleep for days until I get the answer I needed or occupy my mind with activities unrelated to the situation I am facing--movies, music, blogging, etc.
Recently, my nostalgia trip brought me back to the music of my youth where the songs were diverse and rich. May kanta para sa hilig ng bawa't isa--ballad, dance, rap, banda, novelty--at hindi lahat ng singers ay iisa ang timbre ang boses. It was a time when an acoustic song was just an alternate version of a fully orchestrated song. The lyrics were poetic at malaman ang sinasabi.
I developed a compulsion to buy original OPM CDs from the '80s and ripped them to 320 kbps. When I was done with it, I downloaded '80s music ripped to 320 kbps. Hindi lang 'yun. I had to put the exact album (or single) covers where the songs came from or else, I wouldn't be happy with it or be satisfied. It kept me busy for a while and away from the stressful situation. But I knew that once I get tired of it, I will eventually go back home--to the future. One can't keep living in the past if he wants to see the future.
Dahil pa rin kay Gino at sa tanong niya kung ano ang theme song ng Top Gun, I watched the film again. I saw it in 1986, and it made a big impression on me. It and Dead Poets Society were two films that made me appreciate Hollywood movies. Masang-masa kasi ang panlasa ko noon.
I didn't care about the action of the film. I was into the romance and the drama of it and TOM CRUISE! Nainlab ako sa mokong! Ang cute-cute naman kasi! Tapos ilalabas pa ang kanyang boy-next-door smile! Sino ba naman ang di mahuhulog sa kanya? He was my man until he went cuckoo with Katie. Bye-bye, Tom, na ang drama!
Top Gun then made an impact on me, the same way it did this 2011.
Tom's character, Maverick, seems to be arrogant and so full of himself. But it is only on the surface. Deep inside, he wants to prove himself to the world that he is better than his father. He puts on a tough facade to hide what he truly feels inside. However, his commander is on to him. He says, "You have a confidence problem, Maverick." It is at the time when his best friend died, and he decides to quit the force because he couldn't deal with it.
I am Maverick.
I receive a somewhat good news about my Sharon Cuneta paper. It is eligible to be published in Plaridel, a UP mass communication magazine, so long that it passes the requirements after revisions have been made. The comments given are of extreme quality. May sobrang nakakagaan sa pakiramdam at may sobrang nakapanglulumo talaga.
A friend tells me to be happy more than feel bad about it. "'Wag ka ngang masukista," he says.
I agree with him. Still, I couldn't help asking myself kung bobo ba ko para di malaman ang ibang mga naging simpleng comment ng reviewer ba minsan ay spelling problem lang o pagbabaybay? (The paper is written in Filipino na akala ko ay bihasa na ko. Hindi rin pala.) Deserving nga ba talaga ang naisulat ko for publication or pangpalubag-loob lang since may potential naman daw? Alam ko namang hindi ko alam ang lahat at para rin sa ikabubuti ng research ko ang mga nasabi nila. Pero hindi ko pa rin maaalis sa sarili ko ang masaktan at pagdudahan ang sarili. I knew that I had to go through all these stages so that I'd be ready and armed to deal with it.
Maverick faces his demons. He chooses to graduate and tests his skills in battle than quit.
I choose the same. The nostalgia trip is over and done with. (For the meantime at least. Until I see the need to go on a trip again.) I sent my long-overdue response of acknowledgement to Plaridel and am hoping for a favorable response regarding the deadline. In case it is unfavorable, I only have myself to blame and the trip I made this semester.
Aside from that, last semester's heartache is over! I have moved on. The LMC fantasy has ended. Actually, matagal na akong aware sa pantasya. Pinatagal ko lang siya at pilit na nagpakalunod sa kilig na ako lamang ang gumagawa. Masarap man sa pakiramdam ang kilig, nakakaumay rin sa katagalan lalo na't mag-isa ka lang na gumagawa nito.
So ayun! Hello, world na muli!
Nostalgia is denial... denial of the painful present. The name for this denial is golden age thinking, the erroneous notion that a different time period is better than the one one's living in. It's a flaw in the romantic imagination of those people who find it difficult to cope.
Immediately, it felt like it was written for me. Inisip ko pa nga kung original ba ang statements na 'yun made by the poser. But it wasn't. It was a quote from a Woody Allen film called Midnight in Paris which I haven't seen (and will soon see).
I've told Gino, a friend, about it. Aware of my latest heart disaster, he suggested that I may have wanted to back to my last semester's experience. But I don't. In fact, my last semester experience is one of the reasons that had prompted me to go into this nostalgia trip that kept me away from the present time/reality.
Gino adds another quote from Mad Men which sums up what nostalgia is about:
Teddy told me that in Greek, "nostalgia" literally means "the pain from an old wound." It's a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn't a spaceship, it's a time machine. It goes backwards, and forwards... it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It's not called the wheel, it's called the carousel. It let us travel the way a child travels - around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know are loved.
What makes nostalgia more powerful than memory is its emotive affinity.
Gino further says, "Tagos sa 'yo 'yan, Jek. Iyong-iyo talaga. Tinaub ka ng quote."
Tarantado 'tong si Gino, ah! Ang sarap kurutin sa bayag!
Once, during k'wentuhan mode with MA classmates, nasabi ko na "regressing" towards the past gives us security. Most often than not, ang natatandaan natin sa nakaraan ay 'yung mga masasayang alaala. Once healed, we tend to forget the hardships that we went through. Besides, even with such hardships, we knew that we had surpassed them so we still feel safe with them. With bruises and all, we survived it!
When I get confronted with things I couldn't handle immediately, I tend to cave in to a safer world. I'd sleep for days until I get the answer I needed or occupy my mind with activities unrelated to the situation I am facing--movies, music, blogging, etc.
Recently, my nostalgia trip brought me back to the music of my youth where the songs were diverse and rich. May kanta para sa hilig ng bawa't isa--ballad, dance, rap, banda, novelty--at hindi lahat ng singers ay iisa ang timbre ang boses. It was a time when an acoustic song was just an alternate version of a fully orchestrated song. The lyrics were poetic at malaman ang sinasabi.I developed a compulsion to buy original OPM CDs from the '80s and ripped them to 320 kbps. When I was done with it, I downloaded '80s music ripped to 320 kbps. Hindi lang 'yun. I had to put the exact album (or single) covers where the songs came from or else, I wouldn't be happy with it or be satisfied. It kept me busy for a while and away from the stressful situation. But I knew that once I get tired of it, I will eventually go back home--to the future. One can't keep living in the past if he wants to see the future.
Dahil pa rin kay Gino at sa tanong niya kung ano ang theme song ng Top Gun, I watched the film again. I saw it in 1986, and it made a big impression on me. It and Dead Poets Society were two films that made me appreciate Hollywood movies. Masang-masa kasi ang panlasa ko noon.
I didn't care about the action of the film. I was into the romance and the drama of it and TOM CRUISE! Nainlab ako sa mokong! Ang cute-cute naman kasi! Tapos ilalabas pa ang kanyang boy-next-door smile! Sino ba naman ang di mahuhulog sa kanya? He was my man until he went cuckoo with Katie. Bye-bye, Tom, na ang drama!
Top Gun then made an impact on me, the same way it did this 2011.
Tom's character, Maverick, seems to be arrogant and so full of himself. But it is only on the surface. Deep inside, he wants to prove himself to the world that he is better than his father. He puts on a tough facade to hide what he truly feels inside. However, his commander is on to him. He says, "You have a confidence problem, Maverick." It is at the time when his best friend died, and he decides to quit the force because he couldn't deal with it.I am Maverick.
I receive a somewhat good news about my Sharon Cuneta paper. It is eligible to be published in Plaridel, a UP mass communication magazine, so long that it passes the requirements after revisions have been made. The comments given are of extreme quality. May sobrang nakakagaan sa pakiramdam at may sobrang nakapanglulumo talaga.
A friend tells me to be happy more than feel bad about it. "'Wag ka ngang masukista," he says.
I agree with him. Still, I couldn't help asking myself kung bobo ba ko para di malaman ang ibang mga naging simpleng comment ng reviewer ba minsan ay spelling problem lang o pagbabaybay? (The paper is written in Filipino na akala ko ay bihasa na ko. Hindi rin pala.) Deserving nga ba talaga ang naisulat ko for publication or pangpalubag-loob lang since may potential naman daw? Alam ko namang hindi ko alam ang lahat at para rin sa ikabubuti ng research ko ang mga nasabi nila. Pero hindi ko pa rin maaalis sa sarili ko ang masaktan at pagdudahan ang sarili. I knew that I had to go through all these stages so that I'd be ready and armed to deal with it.
Maverick faces his demons. He chooses to graduate and tests his skills in battle than quit.
I choose the same. The nostalgia trip is over and done with. (For the meantime at least. Until I see the need to go on a trip again.) I sent my long-overdue response of acknowledgement to Plaridel and am hoping for a favorable response regarding the deadline. In case it is unfavorable, I only have myself to blame and the trip I made this semester.
Aside from that, last semester's heartache is over! I have moved on. The LMC fantasy has ended. Actually, matagal na akong aware sa pantasya. Pinatagal ko lang siya at pilit na nagpakalunod sa kilig na ako lamang ang gumagawa. Masarap man sa pakiramdam ang kilig, nakakaumay rin sa katagalan lalo na't mag-isa ka lang na gumagawa nito.
So ayun! Hello, world na muli!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe
I like Lindsay. But these pics didn't do anything for me the way Rica Peralejo did for me when I saw Hibla. Na-impressed ako sa twins ni Rica na lalong pang pinaganda ng mga kuha ni Yam Laranas! Parang ang sarap bumalik sa pagkasanggol at mag-breastfeed!Sabi nga ng friend ko about the film: "Pinagjakulan ko nga 'yun nu'ng high school!" Pero di naman ako umabot du'n. Di ko naman pinangarap na mag-ober da bakod.
Wish ko lang na sana ay maayos ni Lindsay ang buhay niya at maging better version of herself tulad nang pagbabalik ni Britney Spears o ni Drew Barrymore. Drew incidentally recently won an Emmy for her performance in Grey Gardens. Umangat sanang muli si Lindsay.
More pictures here: Lovecat
Be Careful and Sensitive on What You Post
I am taking Media 280 this semester which is about Conflict-Sensitive Journalism. It teaches us to be sensitive and careful about the things we write and their implications. One's writing could be read differently if one isn't too careful.
Look at this post about AIDS: Is HIV Common in Manila?
The post is talking about AIDS in Manila, yet suddenly seques to Sydney. One reader couldn't help asked if he was talking about the AIDS situation in Manila or in Sydney. Of course, I understand that it isn't a professional and researched write-up. The blogger was merely expressing his thoughts. But what has bothered me more is the use of RJ Rosales's picture for his post. What is he trying to imply with such use of his picture?
RJ recently passed away due to unspecified reasons. With that, people normally speculated that could've died of (complications of) AIDS. But they were just speculations at tsismi-tsismisan ng ating mga kapatid na nagkakape sa Starbucks. Nothing is confirmed. However, in case RJ did die of AIDS, so what? We shouldn't be quick to judge the person.
So, is the post trying to imply that RJ has died of AIDS given that he was in Sydney at the time of his demise?
As what the late Ate Luds used to say, "Careful, careful!"
Photo source: Be careful where you eat a corndog
Friday, July 29, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Reposting: Zombie
Originally posted on April 12, 2010.
It took a while before I finally decided to upload the final film in Facebook. I've had a few friends asking me to show them the film, but I just told them that I'd upload it soon. My hesitation stems from how personal this work is--not just because I'd literally shed tears in doing this project, but because it is a personal story. I was protective of it like any Hollywood movie stars protective of their newly-born babies from the paparazzi or the way Pia Magalona is to Francis M's last recordings.
Sino ba naman ang gugustuhing pulaan ang kanilang trabaho ng kung sinu-sino lang? No matter how bad it turned out to be, baby ko pa rin siya. I wouldn't just let anyone say anything bad against it. (Pero kung pangit man siya sa standards ko pa lang, hindi na ko magkakalakas pa ng loob na ipakita siya sa iba.)
Ayoko rin namang makatanggap ng sobra-sobrang papuri from people who feel obliged to do so just because we're related or we're friends. Hindi rin naman ako mapapanatag sa ganu'n. I want some objectivity and not biases.
If I sound too critical of what others might think about my film, it is because I am critical about it myself. I have wanted to do a film of my own, and I didn't want to screw it up kahit pa sabihing I have a huge margin of error since it's my first time.
Fortunately, when I showed the rough draft to my professor, nagustuhan na niya. When it was finally shown at mag.net Katipunan on March 25, 2010 and was judged by Auraeus Solito (of Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros), he liked it, saying that it could already be sent to gay and lesbian film festivals abroad. My professor added na mataas daw ang grades na nakuha ko.
Nakahinga na ako ng maluwag nang marinig ko 'yun. Sobrang pinaghirapan ko ito, and I'm very much proud of it!
Yet, at the back of my mind was the question, what now? What is the next step for me?
I don't know actually. But I'm hoping that this could be the start of something good!
Anyway, before you watch the film, here's a few guidelines Sabi nila, let the audience interpret the film for themselves. However, gusto ko pa rin ibigay ang mga bagay na ito dahil pelikula ko ito!
WARNING: Some scenes and theme may offend the sensibilities of some viewers. Watch it with caution (or not at all).
Synopsis:
Zombies walk amongst us. Tonight a zombie stares at his current flame as he reminisces happier days with his dead lover.
He dresses up in white with black linings in front of a broken mirror. After which he leaves the house and joins the land the living as other zombies often do.
* This is purely a visual medium, so everything you see on screen has a purpose.
* Lahat ng prop ay may sinasabi tungkol sa kuwento ng pelikula.
* Ang mga piniling kulay ay may dahilan. Maging ang texture ng kurtina at bed sheet ay may sinasabi. Maging ang suot ng karakter ay may kuwento.
* Ang basag na salamin ay hindi isang basag na salamin lamang. May kinalaman ito sa taong nakatingin dito.
* May palabas sa portable DVD player. Hindi nga lamang siya nakita masyado. But it is a BURIAL SCENE from the movie Nakapagapos na Puso.
* The scene with the DVDs, books, and cassette tape say a lot with what had transpired between the past and the present. Read the texts.
* Take note of the album ENDLESS LOVE by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie.
* May konting boo-boo sa bandang huli. Matapos pagtawanan, 'wag na pansinin. Wala na kong magagawa sa katangahan kong iyon. 'Yung nilalaman na lang ng eksena ang bigyang-pansin. Hehehe.
Ito rin ang isa sa naging puna ni Auraeus when he saw it. Other than that, OK sa kanya ang buong pelikula.
* There could be quite a few interpretations to the film's message. If you have your own, feel free to post a comment. I'd love to hear them.
* I am truly a Sharonian! Napakaraming Sharon references sa movie na ito. Hindi ko kinakahiya 'yon! :)
So, enjoy!
It took a while before I finally decided to upload the final film in Facebook. I've had a few friends asking me to show them the film, but I just told them that I'd upload it soon. My hesitation stems from how personal this work is--not just because I'd literally shed tears in doing this project, but because it is a personal story. I was protective of it like any Hollywood movie stars protective of their newly-born babies from the paparazzi or the way Pia Magalona is to Francis M's last recordings.
Sino ba naman ang gugustuhing pulaan ang kanilang trabaho ng kung sinu-sino lang? No matter how bad it turned out to be, baby ko pa rin siya. I wouldn't just let anyone say anything bad against it. (Pero kung pangit man siya sa standards ko pa lang, hindi na ko magkakalakas pa ng loob na ipakita siya sa iba.)
Ayoko rin namang makatanggap ng sobra-sobrang papuri from people who feel obliged to do so just because we're related or we're friends. Hindi rin naman ako mapapanatag sa ganu'n. I want some objectivity and not biases.
If I sound too critical of what others might think about my film, it is because I am critical about it myself. I have wanted to do a film of my own, and I didn't want to screw it up kahit pa sabihing I have a huge margin of error since it's my first time.
Fortunately, when I showed the rough draft to my professor, nagustuhan na niya. When it was finally shown at mag.net Katipunan on March 25, 2010 and was judged by Auraeus Solito (of Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros), he liked it, saying that it could already be sent to gay and lesbian film festivals abroad. My professor added na mataas daw ang grades na nakuha ko.
Nakahinga na ako ng maluwag nang marinig ko 'yun. Sobrang pinaghirapan ko ito, and I'm very much proud of it!
Yet, at the back of my mind was the question, what now? What is the next step for me?
I don't know actually. But I'm hoping that this could be the start of something good!
Anyway, before you watch the film, here's a few guidelines Sabi nila, let the audience interpret the film for themselves. However, gusto ko pa rin ibigay ang mga bagay na ito dahil pelikula ko ito!
WARNING: Some scenes and theme may offend the sensibilities of some viewers. Watch it with caution (or not at all).
Synopsis:
Zombies walk amongst us. Tonight a zombie stares at his current flame as he reminisces happier days with his dead lover.
He dresses up in white with black linings in front of a broken mirror. After which he leaves the house and joins the land the living as other zombies often do.
* This is purely a visual medium, so everything you see on screen has a purpose.
* Lahat ng prop ay may sinasabi tungkol sa kuwento ng pelikula.
* Ang mga piniling kulay ay may dahilan. Maging ang texture ng kurtina at bed sheet ay may sinasabi. Maging ang suot ng karakter ay may kuwento.
* Ang basag na salamin ay hindi isang basag na salamin lamang. May kinalaman ito sa taong nakatingin dito.
* May palabas sa portable DVD player. Hindi nga lamang siya nakita masyado. But it is a BURIAL SCENE from the movie Nakapagapos na Puso.
* The scene with the DVDs, books, and cassette tape say a lot with what had transpired between the past and the present. Read the texts.
* Take note of the album ENDLESS LOVE by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie.
* May konting boo-boo sa bandang huli. Matapos pagtawanan, 'wag na pansinin. Wala na kong magagawa sa katangahan kong iyon. 'Yung nilalaman na lang ng eksena ang bigyang-pansin. Hehehe.
Ito rin ang isa sa naging puna ni Auraeus when he saw it. Other than that, OK sa kanya ang buong pelikula.
* There could be quite a few interpretations to the film's message. If you have your own, feel free to post a comment. I'd love to hear them.
* I am truly a Sharonian! Napakaraming Sharon references sa movie na ito. Hindi ko kinakahiya 'yon! :)
So, enjoy!
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